Letting go of the past

Sometimes it's hard to let go, especially of people.

It's a problem for me particularly. I didn't think I was the kind of person who had the need to maintain contact with friends, but apparently I am. I put energy and effort into keeping in touch with people, particularly those who are abroad and I know that I won't see any time soon. It is reciprocated far less often than I'd like and that upsets me. Perhaps it is some stereotypical English politeness but that people often omit even the courtesy of a modest reply annoys me greatly. I think that an element of it is that I have great respect for those with the courage to simply state that they won't keep in touch. To me it shows a level of regard for the other party beyond that of those who will let a friendship wither away slowly. I am not the kind to do either very often as I'd prefer to put that energy in to maintain what was there and was good before.

In a way I think it's a continuation of what I had as a child. My parents tell me that I used to be a child who was terribly resistant to change. When a toy seemed to be out of favour it had to be moved to the upper shelves, then to the hall shelves, then to the spare room and finally to the attic over the course of weeks or months. If I noticed or protested about this change, the offending toy had to be quickly returned with the assurance that I had simply misplaced it. I grew out of this over time with many things and I think I've largely stopped it with respect to things in my life. In fact my life has become quite minimalist with respect to things and I like that. For anyone interested in culling some of the excess items from your life, I have to suggest moving to a new country on an airline with minimal baggage allowance. You quickly find out what you actually need ;-)

Then again it seems like I'm not so good at letting go of friendships as they change over time. It bothers and upsets me that people let this happen, though I shouldn't be suprised any more. As distance becomes a factor in our lives then things change and only the strongest relationships remain close. It's not something that can be changed and so I've taken this experience as a chance to move onto new things and change this negative aspect in myself. I can't keep holding on to what once was there and expect that it will still be so. Those people who are important to me have stayed in my life and will continue to do so. Those who are not important will fade to occasional contacts and that will be fine too.



I found some nice quotes about letting go.

Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened. — Dr. Seuss
Doctor Seuss is as observant and succinctly effective as ever. I will keep the happy memories and the good times that have happened.

Celebrate endings – for they precede new beginnings. — Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This one rings with truth through and through. I've been to many places and through different stages of life. One thing that has always been constant is the positive results of change in my life from new beginnings. I've been to new countries, tried new things, faced fears, made mistakes, learned a lot, lost love and gained a love that is far better for me.

Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can’t change. Life’s too short to be anything… but happy. - Anonymous
I laugh a lot, I've screwed up a few times and apologised, and now I'm learning to let go of the things and people that I can't change.

I'll end on a positive note urging you to make the most of the relationships that are important to you and keeping ties strong among family and close friends. Life is about the wonderful moments you share with others and being happy.

Take care and enjoy life,

Pete :-)