Letting go of the past

Sometimes it's hard to let go, especially of people.

It's a problem for me particularly. I didn't think I was the kind of person who had the need to maintain contact with friends, but apparently I am. I put energy and effort into keeping in touch with people, particularly those who are abroad and I know that I won't see any time soon. It is reciprocated far less often than I'd like and that upsets me. Perhaps it is some stereotypical English politeness but that people often omit even the courtesy of a modest reply annoys me greatly. I think that an element of it is that I have great respect for those with the courage to simply state that they won't keep in touch. To me it shows a level of regard for the other party beyond that of those who will let a friendship wither away slowly. I am not the kind to do either very often as I'd prefer to put that energy in to maintain what was there and was good before.

In a way I think it's a continuation of what I had as a child. My parents tell me that I used to be a child who was terribly resistant to change. When a toy seemed to be out of favour it had to be moved to the upper shelves, then to the hall shelves, then to the spare room and finally to the attic over the course of weeks or months. If I noticed or protested about this change, the offending toy had to be quickly returned with the assurance that I had simply misplaced it. I grew out of this over time with many things and I think I've largely stopped it with respect to things in my life. In fact my life has become quite minimalist with respect to things and I like that. For anyone interested in culling some of the excess items from your life, I have to suggest moving to a new country on an airline with minimal baggage allowance. You quickly find out what you actually need ;-)

Then again it seems like I'm not so good at letting go of friendships as they change over time. It bothers and upsets me that people let this happen, though I shouldn't be suprised any more. As distance becomes a factor in our lives then things change and only the strongest relationships remain close. It's not something that can be changed and so I've taken this experience as a chance to move onto new things and change this negative aspect in myself. I can't keep holding on to what once was there and expect that it will still be so. Those people who are important to me have stayed in my life and will continue to do so. Those who are not important will fade to occasional contacts and that will be fine too.



I found some nice quotes about letting go.

Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened. — Dr. Seuss
Doctor Seuss is as observant and succinctly effective as ever. I will keep the happy memories and the good times that have happened.

Celebrate endings – for they precede new beginnings. — Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This one rings with truth through and through. I've been to many places and through different stages of life. One thing that has always been constant is the positive results of change in my life from new beginnings. I've been to new countries, tried new things, faced fears, made mistakes, learned a lot, lost love and gained a love that is far better for me.

Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can’t change. Life’s too short to be anything… but happy. - Anonymous
I laugh a lot, I've screwed up a few times and apologised, and now I'm learning to let go of the things and people that I can't change.

I'll end on a positive note urging you to make the most of the relationships that are important to you and keeping ties strong among family and close friends. Life is about the wonderful moments you share with others and being happy.

Take care and enjoy life,

Pete :-)

I'm a bad consumer. I don't want new things...

Hi everyone,

I've been thinking about something a fair bit recently and it struck me fully last night after a discussion with my girlfriend, Edina.

I'm a bad consumer.

By that I don't mean that I'm necessarily unethical or somebody who buys in an irresponsible way. It's quite the opposite in fact; I don't generally buy a lot of things and I don't generally want a lot of things.


Here's the item I discussed with Edina that got me to realise what I am. It's a Lenovo Thinkpad Edge E-325 and is a pretty neat laptop with good features (13.3" screen, AMD Fusion processor, great keyboard etc.). I work at Lenovo teaching English and a friend there let me know about a deal that is coming up which would give me a good saving on this laptop.

Initially I was jumping at the idea as I have been thinking about getting a replacement for my old Dell laptop for a couple of months now. It slipped off the coffee table a few months ago and the wifi card stopped working, a factor which accompanies missing keys, green lines on the screen and no battery.

The deal showed up and I nearly jumped at the chance but then I thought about it. A question hit me. Why do I need a new laptop? I'd been thinking for so long that once my old laptop kicked the bucket I'd get a get new one and that was that but when I asked myself why, there weren't so many good answers.

Now I will point out that I make a lot of use of the internet for work and communication with family, but I can generally use my school's PCs or Edina's laptop at home. What would a new, shiny laptop bring me except perhaps some slightly snappier performance or the ability to play some newer games? The latter tempted me for a bit, before I realised how little time I have these days to indulge in video games. Why then should I spend money on something that I really don't need, but only want?



Phones are another thing that struck me as I considered my disinterest in much of modern consumer society. I'm a geek when it comes to new technology with respect to interest in it, but I simply can't justify any kind of need for me to spend on any kind of fancy phone. Edina recently bought the little Samsung phone above for the princely sum of 9.90 Euros. It's nothing fancy but it does the job. My phone (a Nokia something or other) was comparatively pricey at 25 Euros but again, it does what I need.

Now compared to something like the recently released Samsung Galaxy Nexus, the phones we are both rocking are dinosaurs. I love the look and idea of the Nexus but as I thought more about it, I wondered what I would really do with such a phone. Okay, texting and calling are nothing new so this phone would give me access to the internet, email, a camera and the numerous applications.

Perhaps it's a symptom of the relatively simple life that I live as an EFL teacher, but I just don't see what this will bring into my life. I don't get a huge number of emails to deal with daily, facebook doesn't run my life, I have a camera that handles the relatively few pictures I choose to take and I don't have any real need for GPS or map applications.

I should interject here to say that I'm not against buying things per se and that I don't think people who buy such tools or other trappings of modern life are bad. It's more that I find the advertising and desire for so many things that set other people's excitement buttons going don't do it for me. In a similar way I don't want to buy many clothes or have a fancy car. I'm a much more practical and simple person in many aspects of my life, though not all of course.

Instead I decided to save the few hundred Euros/pounds that a new laptop would set me back and use them to help repay my student loan. It's about time I got on with that and it will be good to remove its looming presence. When the time comes that I want to apply for a mortgage and look at investing in property, the last thing I need is to have problems because of an existing loan.


I guess my final thought would be that I feel like people should really consider why they want various things in their life and whether it is something that is really necessary for the way you live. Far be it from me to tell you what to do or not to do but make sure you spend your money and time on things that really matter to you.

Pete